Nerd Alert

Sweet Jesus. Former Croc wearing nerds across the U.S. are jumping into the fashion disaster of 2009. They are supposed to be as close to running barefoot as possible. Which I do not entirely understand. Running barefoot on concrete hurts. Why would I want to put on these pug-fugley shoes to feel the stomping pain of feet versus concrete?

They also look absolutely ridiculous. There was a guy at the dog park the other day sporting them. You could tell he was really proud of them. He wasn't running and had on regular street wear. He looked like the jackass who wears aqua shoes all summer long in grocery stores, poolside, and to parties. Everywhere except the ocean where they hardly belong. They do not make you look a"outdoorsy". They make you look like you drink Zima through a straw while dancing to Smash Mouth's "All Star".

I'm calling it right now. They should be banned. Someone needs to go into sports stores and slap the people trying them on. They are not cool. You will never get laid wearing these. No one wants to be like you because you are trying to run barefoot and look like an ass wearing them. There I said it. Please do not fall victim to these. Do not add them to your secret collection of aqua shoes and Crocs. Let this nerd trend die a quiet death. And if any of your friends are wearing them punch them in their tiny little balls because they just ain't right.