New Year's Resolutions

I've never been one to make New Year's resolutions. This is because I assume I will break them by January 2nd. But this year I will join the millions who hope to alter their behavior, for good, as of January 1, 2010.

I have been a smoker since the age of 18. On and off for years and mostly triggered by any number of alcoholic beverages. A sip is enough for my brain to recognize that something is amiss. Some synapses will fire off some chemicals and I get a little twitchy. By the end of the beer I am excusing myself to the nearest bodega to pay $11 for something that will do nothing but ease my discomfort and slowly kill me. As you have read before I blame a lot of my substandard behavior on booze. You're probably thinking I should just stop drinking. And if you are thinking that you should probably start reading a different blog because we will never get each other. However, I do plan on cutting down on the amount I drink but I'm not giving up the sauce completely. I just am giving up the justification to smoke because I'm half in the bag (or simply looking at the bag).

It all started at the age of 18 because my college boyfriend and best friend both smoked daily. People were actually shocked when they found out I smoked. "You smoke?! I never woulda pinned you as a smoker." I used to get that same reaction from people when I told them I was agnostic. "You're what?! I thought you were a Christian." Why anyone would make any assumptions about my lifestyle beats me. It's like saying to them "You watched Alf?! I never woulda pinned you as an Alf watcher. More like an A-Team fan." Yeah well guess what, you don't know me. And it was the tone associated with it. Complete disgust. Like they just found out I was an axe murderer and had taken-out half my town. I digress.

I never considered myself a smoker but since I actually put cigs in my mouth, light them up, and inhale the wondrous nicotine and 599 other chemicals (some sites claim 4,000), I am in fact a smoker. So I am going on the record that I am going to give up the little bundles of cancer for good.

While I was being introspective I decided to try and resolve a few other things:

2-Cut down on the hooch
3-Lose weight
4-Run more
5-Take better care of skin and hair
6-Stop Face Book stalking. It may, in fact, be ruining my life
7-Be more tolerant of idiots and A-holes.
8-Start dating more. Um not sure how this is going to happen since I NEVER ask guys out. Hmmm suggestions?
9-Forgive and FORGET the exes.
10-Stop drunk texting and Face Booking (see #2 & #6 & #9)
11-Focus on today and not so much on tomorrow. Oh wait but Jersey Shore is on tomorrow. Can't wait for that!!!
12-Seriously stay within budget and don't try to justify purchases. I mean my pup Oscar could use a pair of shoes though. His lil Mexican feet get cold and there is a serious broken glass problem on my street.
13-Start keeping up with the New York Times. It's awkward NEVER knowing what is going on in the world outside of me ZZzzzzzzz. Oops I'm awake.
14-Be better about completing the items on my to do list. First being to actually read the list rather than just writing stuff down and never looking over it.
15-Let go of the goal of being either a pop star or a half-pipe snowboarding gold medalist. Self: you missed the boat.
16-Buy Rock Band and the X-Box 360 so I can live out #15 in the comfort of my own home. Oh wait #12 is yelling at me.

And Lastly,
16-Stop being so hard on myself. Maybe I should get a drink. Oooh and a smoke.

I will hang in there and not stop dreaming Richard Simmons.