Where Have All The House Parties Gone?

I was driving down the street today in Massachusetts when I saw a gathering of people in their late teens, early 20's. I felt a wave of nostalgia thinking about all the house parties I've been to. Walking into a house full of people you didn't know and the potential for meeting some hot guy to make-out with. What the hell ever happened to the house party? And I don't mean the "hey I'm having a dinner party and you'll know everyone there". No I mean a straight-up singles mostly, not decorated, initially awkward (until you're 5 beers in), flip cup playin', thrilling house party.

For me it has slowly been replaced by dinner parties or bars. Dinner parties are the sophisticated version of the house party. But I rarely am introduced to other single straight men. Bars are now the closest thing to a house party. But it is a lot more expensive and you don't have any connection to anyone there. So meaning if I meet a guy at a bar, none of my friends, or friends-of-friends can give me any background info on him.

It kind of makes me sad. Is it possible to bring the house party back? I've had BBQs at my parents' house with minimal turn-out. Why? Most of my friends are in relationships or married and who cares about a house party when you're in a relationship? It's like who cares about bars when you're in a relationship. They are both means to catch up with friends only. Not to meet your potential mate because you already have one. I went to a house party on St. Patty's day this year and it was really fun but it still wasn't the same. And I'm not completely sure why.

Today on my 31st birthday I'm longing for the excitement of an approaching house party. Guys just waiting for the chicks to arrive. That actually sounds like a strip club or a cat house. I mean a house full of people you know, and don't know, just looking to socialize and potentially have a make-out session in the backyard. If I could pull one together now I would, but I guess I have to accept that the house party for me is pretty dead. It's not as free and fun as it used to be and I don't own a house anyway. Having a house party at my parents' at my age isn't cool anymore, it's sad. So if anyone wants to have a house party, invite friends and friends-of-friends, know that I am in. Long live the House Party.

Debbie Downer

Lately I've been feeling down and out. I've blamed it on the terrible company I work for, the hangovers, the terrible company I work for...Anyway I went to my physician for my yearly physical and she ran a gamut of blood work on me. Come to find out I have really low levels of vitamins B12 and D. Now D insufficiency is common so I was not surprised, but B12?!

Fast forward to last night where I was reading one of Dr. Oz's books You Being Beautiful (yes I am obsessed with him). In the book it discusses depression, anxiety, etc. Anyway as I'm reading through it states that low levels of B12 in the body can cause depression. Fo' Real Dr. Oz?! Well no shit I feel a little down and out. B12! After that I took a double B Complex dose. But since it is water soluble he suggests taking one twice a day because you basically pee it out. And I do feel better today. Better capable of coping with hating my job and moving forward.

I know this is not a hilarious or self-deprecating blog but I couldn't help but want to share the news. If you feel like Debbie Downer try out a B complex.

Oscar Cuts Loose, Footloose

After my last post I figured I would let you in on my dog crazy side. There always seems to be broken bottles and glass in my neighborhood. I got sick of worrying about Oscar slicing open a paw knowing what that emergency bill looks like (I had a $1400 one when he was 8 months old).

Shoes were on, Oscar was miserable, we all laughed at his expense, and I decided to film him. Oscar's discomfort and humiliation is obvious and I decided not to get the shoes for him. At the tail-end of this charade a short-shorted, Frenchman walks in. He begins to lecture me on how unnatural the shoes are for dogs, how my dog won't eat if I buy them, and basically called me a stupid American. "I don't understand you Americans!" It was all I could do to not say "mind ya damn bizniss frogger". But I shot him my look of death and walked out. I showed him.

Can't Bring a Dog to Water...

NYC has a bad rep. The man yelling "fungule" at an innocent tourist is normally the picture that is conjured up. But most New Yorkers I have encountered are very friendly. I have met a number of people just walking my Chihuahua Oscar. This one day in particular I was walking Oscar and bumped into a couple walking an adorable Chihuahua even smaller than my 6 pound lil guy. We walked and talked, discovered they were from Boston, we happen to share a mutual friend, and we could potentially take care of each others' pups while traveling. That was until I walked with the woman and dog a few days later.

Pipa's female owner asks if me and Oscar want to join them for a walk. Actually I got a text from "Pipa" asking if Oscar can come out and play. I respond as me, and she responds again as Pipa. Shoulda known right there that somethin' wasn't right. We met at the dog park designed for small breeds. She claimed that her lil pup, Pipa, did not want to go in the dog park. I thought it was odd she wouldn't give the dog a chance, but assuming she was afraid to bring her dog in, I complied and left the dog park. As we walked along the river, her lil Pipa was walking in front just sniffing around like a normal doggie. Then the owner says "Pipa wants to walk this way, do you mind?". I looked down to see Pipa sniffing near another path but was not acting odd, or pulling on the leash, or even making a sound. Now in my head I'm thinking lady, do you have some kind of cosmic connection with your dog? But having just met this chick, and her path paving dog, I just followed her lead. We continued on this path for a few minutes when Pipa apparently wanted to change directions again (according to her owner). Now keep in mind it was a hot day and I wanted to continue walking along the beautiful river, not head into town. I really didn't give a shit what Pipa "wanted" to do. And the fact that Pipa weighs 4 pounds, was not in distress, and this lady's nutso factor was becoming more evident I was now becoming agitated. So my reply changed from an initial shrugged "sure" to a "oh, ummm, yeah I guess". Shortly after this I "needed to head home".

The next time I meet up with her it begins to rain. She puts Pipa in a handbag. "Pipa just hates the rain." Wow should've seen this one coming.

A few days later I get a text from Pipa asking if Oscar wants to hang out again because her mom and dad are walking her. Lord have mercy. Dog texting again? I head out of my apartment and they say they are at 82 & York. Since we have always met at the dog park I tell her I am at the dog park. It is a beautiful sunny day and the Carl Shultz park has gardens and activity and is a block away from where they are. Wait for it... They respond that "Pipa does not seem to want to walk to the water you want to walk this way?". Whatchu talkin' bout Willis? Your dog knows where the river is and doesn't want to walk that way? You mean you can't gently tug on your 4 pound dog's leash and make her walk to the goddamn water? Can you even begin to imagine what Cesar Milan would say to this crazy bitch? I don't care if Oscar is foaming at the mouth and actually says to me in English "listen lady I don't wanna go to the river" I would say "Tough shit you're a dog and I'm a human and you will follow me NOW". And I bet if that dog could talk it would say "mom I wanna live a normal dog's life. I am not a human baby". I had had enough. I responded by saying "my leg hurts and I am going to let Oscar play in the dog park" like a normal canine. Pipa didn't respond.

Just because you can meet people in New York doesn't mean they won't be whack jobs. And lady don't blame your weirdness on your dog. You clearly have many hang-ups and I'm not sure why you would prefer to walk along busy streets than near the park. I'm really impressed that you got your grad degree at Harvard, know Japanese and Chinese, and are very successful. But what the hell is wrong with you? I just got a text asking if we wanted to walk with them today. I wrote back that Oscar doesn't wanna walk he actually wants to go to the pub and have a few pints. No I didn't. But I shoulda.

Nerd Alert

Sweet Jesus. Former Croc wearing nerds across the U.S. are jumping into the fashion disaster of 2009. They are supposed to be as close to running barefoot as possible. Which I do not entirely understand. Running barefoot on concrete hurts. Why would I want to put on these pug-fugley shoes to feel the stomping pain of feet versus concrete?

They also look absolutely ridiculous. There was a guy at the dog park the other day sporting them. You could tell he was really proud of them. He wasn't running and had on regular street wear. He looked like the jackass who wears aqua shoes all summer long in grocery stores, poolside, and to parties. Everywhere except the ocean where they hardly belong. They do not make you look a"outdoorsy". They make you look like you drink Zima through a straw while dancing to Smash Mouth's "All Star".

I'm calling it right now. They should be banned. Someone needs to go into sports stores and slap the people trying them on. They are not cool. You will never get laid wearing these. No one wants to be like you because you are trying to run barefoot and look like an ass wearing them. There I said it. Please do not fall victim to these. Do not add them to your secret collection of aqua shoes and Crocs. Let this nerd trend die a quiet death. And if any of your friends are wearing them punch them in their tiny little balls because they just ain't right.

Lady I Like Your Toes

I know most of you are dying to hear my dating and running around in Manolos stories. But that is not my NYC life. This story is my reality. Yesterday was one of those "Thriller" days. I swear every creep that exists in New York was out and was looking for me.

I got the "hey young lady" from a passing guy with a long blue 'do rag. Right buddy you are clearly my type. The 'do rag gets me every time.

I got the bike-by "hey sweetie" from the Mexican food delivery guy. Dude, you are riding your bike too fast for me even to blow a kiss at you. What did you hope to accomplish?

And lastly I had a guy stop in the middle of the sidewalk and stare. Dodging a puddle I had to walk fairly close to him. As I did he leaned in and yelled in my ear "Lady I like your toes. I LIKE YOUR TOES!". At least that's what I think he said. He was staring at the ground and I originally thought he was really excited about my dog. Nope, my toes. Dude, I haven't had a pedi in months and the polish on there is about 13 layers thick. Never mind that my feet were dirty thanks to the disgusting NYC streets. What is there to like? What did I do about this toe rave? Nothing. I walked away as fast as I could. I heard one last "Your toes" and that was all. I could have yelled back some obscenities but the two creeps before him must have worn down my shouting reflex. I think I was at that point prepared to hear weird shit from random homeless/crazies. I walked from there straight home. And yes, I ran into a few more nuts but at least they didn't yell in my ear they just stared at my boobs.

Not only have I heard that wearing flip-flops in the city can put you at risk for major disease but apparently you can attract crazies that like toes. So my lesson of the day was when 2 or more creeps are paying closer attention to you than normal put on some sneakers and get off the streets as soon as possible.

Blame it on The Booze

I don't know when it started. I think Danielle was the first to point it out. I would ask her a question about a trip or her family and she would squeal "Katie!". I could have sworn she never shared the details. But as time went on, and my friendships grew, I realized details of friends' lives were erased like I was abducted by memory seizing aliens. The worst was when I asked a friend how her cousin was doing in her fight against lymphoma (I may not even have that detail right). Her cousin had already passed away. Yes, that bad. Needless to say I wanted to shrivel up and die. How could I forget a MAJOR detail like this? And I'm not really sure. I talked to my cousin about this and she said that I've been this way for so long that she just repeats the detail without calling me out on it. What? So I've been this way so long that she has grown accustomed to ignoring my handicap. Was it from all the booze I've drunk in my life? Good possibility. I am known as a boozer. Or is my brain just not wired to hold onto certain details? How can I remember the latin names of beach plants from my coastal ecology class I took 9 years ago (beach grass is Ammophila breviligulata) but I cannot remember that a good friend's cousin died? Oh and her sister had a baby in May but on the phone yesterday I was convinced she was still pregnant or that I wasn't told. I am certainly no savant, but I sure can be an idiot.

I'm not sure if I will ever understand why my brain behaves this way. It certainly makes me want to document every detail of my friends' lives so I do not feel like a total ass for the rest of my life. So to all my wonderful friends I am so sorry for all the things I have forgotten in your life. For now, we'll blame it on the booze, not the rain.

Grammatical Errors...

I talked so much in seventh grade English class I missed out on many of the grammatical rules. I was sat next to Nikki who was a huge trouble maker. She taught me how to piss off Miss Peppelian (sp? haha) and I loved it. Rules such as propositional phrases, proper nouns, how to use commas, mixing verb tenses in a sentence, etc. So for those of you reading my blog I will apologize in advance for offending you with my horrendous grammatical errors. Hopefully you can look past it and you are definitely welcome to publicly make fun of me. I will not (comma?) however (comma?) spell definitely (comma?) definately. At least I've got that. Wing bird (an English teacher) get out your red pen.