Lady I Like Your Toes

I know most of you are dying to hear my dating and running around in Manolos stories. But that is not my NYC life. This story is my reality. Yesterday was one of those "Thriller" days. I swear every creep that exists in New York was out and was looking for me.

I got the "hey young lady" from a passing guy with a long blue 'do rag. Right buddy you are clearly my type. The 'do rag gets me every time.

I got the bike-by "hey sweetie" from the Mexican food delivery guy. Dude, you are riding your bike too fast for me even to blow a kiss at you. What did you hope to accomplish?

And lastly I had a guy stop in the middle of the sidewalk and stare. Dodging a puddle I had to walk fairly close to him. As I did he leaned in and yelled in my ear "Lady I like your toes. I LIKE YOUR TOES!". At least that's what I think he said. He was staring at the ground and I originally thought he was really excited about my dog. Nope, my toes. Dude, I haven't had a pedi in months and the polish on there is about 13 layers thick. Never mind that my feet were dirty thanks to the disgusting NYC streets. What is there to like? What did I do about this toe rave? Nothing. I walked away as fast as I could. I heard one last "Your toes" and that was all. I could have yelled back some obscenities but the two creeps before him must have worn down my shouting reflex. I think I was at that point prepared to hear weird shit from random homeless/crazies. I walked from there straight home. And yes, I ran into a few more nuts but at least they didn't yell in my ear they just stared at my boobs.

Not only have I heard that wearing flip-flops in the city can put you at risk for major disease but apparently you can attract crazies that like toes. So my lesson of the day was when 2 or more creeps are paying closer attention to you than normal put on some sneakers and get off the streets as soon as possible.