I got on the train and moved towards the opposite door to stand away from all the other germ carriers. Two stops later a 350 pound man in a wheelchair was pushing himself backwards with his feet trying to get his back wheels to jump the 3 inch high gap between the train and the platform. The angle was off, so only one tire was making contact. He was so aggressive with his pushing, people were afraid to help him (and he was dirty). He simply had no regard for anything behind him. Finally one person was brave enough to turn him just enough so he could to hoist himself onto the train just before the doors shut. The man that helped him was in his 60's and wore a calf-length Alpaca, light green, winter coat. He stood about 6 feet tall and was well groomed. We'll call him Greenman. The man in the wheelchair also appeared to be in his 60's (so he was probably 25) and I would classify him to be a few eggs short of a dozen. Let's call him Burt. He could move backwards well enough but certainly was not a normally functioning human. He had big fat tongue that he used to push out his big fat lips and had a big fat, round face. He had beady eyes, wore glasses and had on a winter hat. A very worn, dirty canvas bag hung from the back of the wheelchair and a plastic bag full of god knows what hanging off the left armrest. I made mental pictures of all of this while looking at the back of the chair, as he stared at the train doors he almost didn't make it through. A few stops later was when the mayhem ensued.
The train doors opened up to Greenman's exit. As he tried to squeeze by the door-blocking-Burt, Burt decided it was a good idea to floor his wheelchair gas pedal forward off the train to get out of Greenman's way. I have never seen a wheelchair launch off a train and move so fast in my life. Maybe Burt is a genius and figured out a way to put Nitros in his chair? Anyway the problem for Greenman was, when Burt launched forward, the left wheelchair armrest entered Greenman's right coat pocket and dragged him off the train. As Greenman struggled to keep his balance Burt just kept his wheelchair's petal to the metal. Greenman was trying to prevent his feet from getting run over while simultaneously trying to figure out what the hell was going on. He was in shock, like getting attacked by a Great White Shark. He writhed in the chair's grip but the chair just kept speeding ahead. Finally about 5 inches from the platform wall Burt stopped. And just as soon as he stopped he thrusted his chair backwards and was jumping his chair onto the train again. Greenman stood stunned on the platform, patted down his fine coat, and walked out the subway exit. Burt wasn't phased even a little. He made no eye contact and did not say a word. Just a regular day for Burt.
It was then that I realized my mouth was agape. What just happened? Did I just witness one of the most amazing moments in history? I literally said "oh my god did that just happen?" out loud to my fellow passengers. They just looked at me and shook their heads. I mean I wish I could interview them. Maybe invite them to the White House for beers to reconcile. Would Greenman tell this story to his grand kids? I wanted to shake Burt's hand (with a latex glove on) and thank him for one of the best things I have ever seen. I wanted this on tape. So much so that I would have sacrificed the taping of my first born's first-steps to have the Burt and Greenman video. Without hesitation.
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